Optical Illusions

What do you see? 2 profile faces or a goblet?

I’m still catching up with my magazine reading and I saw an article in Runner’s World that had a tag line that fit me perfectly:

“The memory of being fat never subsides–even after you become fit.”  ~Peter Sagal, “The Road Scholar”, Runner’s World magazine, March 2011

This article goes on to say, “If you’ve ever been fat, you will either be fat for the rest of your life or you will worry about being fat for the rest of your life.”  ~Jonathan Reynolds in the play “Fighting International Fat”

You can read the entire article here.

This article caught my attention because I am 100% guilty of this mindset.  I’m still very used to being fat.  I feel great, yes; and I look fantastic; but, I do overly rely on the number on the scale.  I’m absolutely petrified of regaining the weight I lost and I have a misperception of how quickly that could happen.  For example, If I overeat one day, then I immediately start to see myself as fatter in the mirror.  Even if my clothes don’t feel any differently, my face looks fuller in the mirror when I overeat.  I then find myself pleasantly surprised when the scale does not indicate a punishment from my overeating.  After I see the positive affirmation from the scale, I suddenly also look slimmer in the mirror again.  I’m not saying this is psychologically healthy!!!  I’m just saying it’s my perception.  And, if you know me, you know that one of my favorite personality theories was George Kelly’s “perception is reality”.  Thankfully, I also believe that we can change our perceptions, therefore, can change our realities!

I learned from a (fabulous) Weight Watchers instructor that people have an image burned in their memories of when you were heavy if weight was a long-time issue for you.  So, each time people who don’t see you daily lay eyes on you, they’ll swear that you have lost “even more weight”.  My weight has been steady since November of 2010, but when I see people after maybe a month has passed, they’ll insist that I’ve lost more weight (and that I’m going to whither away to nothing…).  I try to accept the compliment graciously, but I also like keeping it real and I don’t want people to think I’m intentionally trying to diet my way to anorexia!

I’m still taking one day at a time and I’m learning to rely more on how I feel and how my clothes feel versus how many calories I consumed that day.  Each day is brand new and I’m so thankful for that!